After much closeted review of the case where Officers Hun and Juno were caught with a hundred pounds of cocaine in downtown Brownsville, today during a televised press conference that out shined famous "Project X" Commissioner Montemayor informed the citizens of Brownsville of a brand new branch of Medical Marijuana Shops that will be located by hwy 511 and will be open to the junkies, sorry, public, June 30th of this year. As we all remember Officers Juno and Hun are the ones behind this project that will bring Brownsville to the "future" and out of the dark ages and what better location than close to useless land by hwy 48 and SPI.
1.- To be unemployed or receiving TANIF in the past Twelve years.
2.- A Doctors excuse that will explain in detail why the use of the herb will help the applicant deal with either stress, life, relationships break-ups, one night-stands, shady hotel renting, and pain or excruciating bipolar-ism.
3.- Proof of Medicaid Card, Medicare or Snap Benefits.
All this with either an outdated driver license or school credential will be sufficient to be part of a raffle that will give the applicants the opportunity to purchase the medicine and to get discounts at local eatery's and bars in town. Registered marijuana users will also receive a free bus pass for twelve months, discount up to 30% for electronics in local WaWa and RegretBuy and a free backpack and snacks for back to school.
No word yet if Bishop Hores will conduct a blessing of the establishment when it opens.