November 18, 2012

Welcome to Chapas! The Pit!

your momma hit kind of hard a video by diego lee rot

November 17, 2012

K-9 Units to Receive State of the Art Video Detection Cameras to stop Drug Deals At Texas Borders

Four state of the art video recording motion detector cameras were donated by the now extinct UTB Gorges Hall project to the four new recruits to the K-9 unit that operates near the rio grande river in the near counties of Cameron and Kerr.
The four canine agents that recently relocated to the rio grande valley are famous worldwide for their heroics and service in the Afghanistan war and for being able to secure 234 pounds of crystal meth in the nearby city of palm view. Concerned citizens criticized the DEA and the Border Patrol Agency when they reinstated the four canines to the Cameron County Bridges Division stating that they were either too old, feeble and that their breed, two pugs and two chihuahuas were too much of a joke for the Border patrol and Brownsville PD. The two pugs and the two chihuahuas are in fact handicapped, also old and squinted eyed. The canine agents are also rookies in the drug dealing bust operation that they are being trained for, but the DEA is hopeful they can learn new tricks.
UTB Gorges Hall Society has now offered the canine with the portable cameras that they can attach to their noses or ears while a live feed of the video is sent to a monitor where border patrol agents and undercover agents can monitor closely possible drug deals and be able to bust and secure drugs off the street and into their pockets. The cameras were donated to the agency last Friday and the training is expected to start next year.

The canine agents will be allotted one day of intense training that will let their trainers be able to show them the ropes of securing the devices in their heads and control the urge to scratch or lick the devices. BPD and DEA are confident that the unusual canine agents will be able to blend with the rest of the canine population of the area and that when the drug deals are taking place, unspectacular drug dealers and agents will not notice the canine units doing their jobs.

This special foursome are in the process of activating their own twitters and facebook accounts were they will be able to post photographs and keep their ever growing fans updated about their illegal drug busts and work with the Border Patrol and DEA.

November 8, 2012

serve me right to suffer

Increased UFO sightings in Lafayette:They're Back!

Lafayette, Colorado is back in the news this week and not only because there is a great chance that pot will be in their path, it looks like increased UFO sightings like the ones reported last year have been witnessed by skeptics and frightened citizens that bombarded their local police department and Federal Aviation Department trying to figure out if the spooky lights witnessed all week have a logical and scientific explanation or if they are being visited by strange beings from above.

Local vendors and owners of Lafayette groceries stores were baffled when the spooky lights in the form of clouds started popping out early Monday afternoon around town sending neighbors and animals into a state of alarm.  Resident Thomas West stated that around 5:00 in the evening when he usually enjoys a stroll around his family barnyard he heard his dog bounce start to yelp and bark in fear when he look up at the sky: " i swear i saw this two clouds formations that were coming right at me!, i just started to run followed by bounce fearing for my life and my dogs, its one of those scenarios out of a scary horror movie, the clouds looked so unreal and there is no way a cloud can just move that fast and produce lighting or flickers like that!". Mr West was not the only one that witnessed the strange clouds that had light of their own,  Lafayette Commercial Bank manager was outside the building with some patrons when they too noticed some funny looking clouds that seemed to have life of their own, "all of a sudden something caught our attention, the sky turned pitch dark and several clouds started to flicker and move so fast he just stood there, scared but wondering if the UFOS were back in town.

Lafayatte is known for its UFO activity, just last year dozens of residents panicked and demanded an answer from the Federal Aviation Department and the FBI because for two months they were able to capture on videotape and camera odd "lights in the sky" while noticing that beloved pets and farm animals were disappearing or that animals body parts badly burned started popping out near farm roads and Highways.

The Federal Aviation Department has failed to give the residents of Lafayette  Colorado any answers and until today has not answered any phone calls or email from local t.v.crews or concerned residents that are taking matters into their own hands, securing pets and farms animals and carrying weapons in case they are under attack by the UFOS.

November 7, 2012

Texas next in ballot to legalize Marijuana sale and consumption.

Colorado and Washington are in the news today, they have cleared a ballot that will let adults twenty-one years and over to grow, sell and smoke marijuana without the need of a medical license or underlying illness.  This morning the State of Texas Representatives announced that they too, want to legalize the commercial value and medical value that marijuana will bring to their citizens, citing that it will end the never ending battle with Mexico drug lords and produce a much welcome number of jobs and income for its poor and failing population.

Texans Governors are willing to go out on a limb and support the consumption, distribution and legalization of this highly discussed drug while stating the benefits to the State. They intend to woo the Federal Government into letting them plant, produce and distribute legally so programs like Medicaid, Medicare and SNAP can still provide services to the millions of Texans that year after year apply for such benefits and are in welfare. The Texas Senate is aware of this multi-million dollars a year enterprise and the benefits that over 234,000 unemployed citizens could be getting if marijuana use and distribution is allowed by law.

Texans will be able to know if they join the States of Colorado and Washington next weekend when the results are in.  You can contact your local voting authority for more information of how you can bring this cause to light and legalize it!.

November 6, 2012

Morrissey a no show, just like we predicted it would be..

Just as we predicted some months ago, famed singer Morrissey has decided last minute to "postpone" the already doomed and faked dates that would have been the delight of thousands of  South Texans that   in the past would have not had the money or  means of transportation to see him live out of the Rio Grande Valley. It was reported that the singer is cancelling his North America tour due to illness to his fragile octogenarian mother, but sources close to the artist have stated that in fact morrissey is back in England due to the fact that he recently purchased a goat farm and as we all know, being a famous and passionate animal activist, he is in fact tending to this project instead of completing the last leg of his tour.

Morrissey expressed in the past that he never intended to perform in Pharr, Texas, or the City of Austin, following a televised interview where the Governor of Texas refers to him as a "legend" and a " nasty bloke that cares more about animals than his fans". Morrissey and his entourage were denied entry to the  State Capital last year and the singer vowed never to returned.  Sources close to the singer family stated via Facebook that morrissey planned the whole event in advance because he is still bitter at the politician but that he does plan to return to Texas to sing his hits to his ever growing and adoring fans.

We told you so, remember??

he's coming to kill you blues

November 3, 2012

apple to give away 2,000 MacBook Pro to Hurricane Sandy Survivors.

Apple is going to be giving away to 2,000 lucky tumbler subscribers the new state of the art, Mac Book Pro laptop that has hit the market by surprise with its 15 inch Retina display that is going to offer the lucky participants a better, clearer resolution.  Apple is committed to helping out 2,000 New York residents that recently were afflicted by super storm Sandy into rebuilding little by little their morale and faith and start reconstructing after the chaos of losing everything they owned.

Apple corporation is going to be opening a tumbler account next month and the first 2,000 likes and followers are going to be the lucky recipients of the new edition of the Mac family.