October 30, 2012

K-9 Units to Arrive to Brownsville PD this weekend.

Four K-9 guard and sniff dogs are scheduled to arrive at Brownsville International Airport from Fort Hood Texas as a new addition to the ever growing Brownsville Narcotic Police Unit.  Fort Hood officials are lending the valuable canine to the city of Brownsville in an effort to help reduce the illegal entry and transportation of Heroine and Crack that has been afflicting the Valley in the past year. The canine units are expected to arrive next week and are going to be stationed in Los Tomates and Anzalduas Bridge.  Fort Hood officials stated that the animals in question have been in training with the USA Army First Infantry Unit 456 since the beginning of 2007 and all of the canine agents have been stationed in Iran and Ira k.  They are also trained in the detection of weapons of mass destruction and explosive artifacts.

The canines in question are 2 pugs that are twelve years old and are considered veterans in the world of sniffing and detecting illegal substances, their names are sammo and nene cross. They enjoy long walks on the, park and the occasional ice cream slurping.  The other two canine agents that are going to be joining them are a chihuahua Winchester mix, ten year old "benito" that although has one glass eye and has to use a set of wheels because his hinds legs were blown up during a secret combat mission in Honolulu last year, he has sired a little of twelve narcotics canine agents that give out their services in El Paso, Texas and Nuevo Laredo. The last member of this elite team is "Baxter" a docile 5 year chihuahua and rookie of the group that is known for his sweet temper but uncanny sniffing abilities being able to sniff a cargo of 200 pounds of meth near University drive in his home town of Eileen.

This elite canine unit may be the laughing stock of the neighborhood because of their size and breed but Fort Hood soldiers and DEA and Border Patrol Agents swear that the size and breed of these dogs is what gives the leverage and ability to fool the drug and weapons dealers that each day cross the border without the  of being stopped or sniffed by these unlikely K-9 agents that are going to be the new sensation in our local borders now that they will adopt the rio grande valley as their new home.

Crystal Meth Lab Discovered in UTBR Student Union .

An anonymous tip received yesterday at UTBR security campus alerted school officials and local Brownsville Police Department to the location of a state of the art crystal meth lab that supposedly has yielded over 23 pounds of the blue narcotic to local and international dealers in the lower rio grande.
TSTC union college has stated to the Brownsville-monitor that although they have recently acquired the building in a well known  publicized public battle with the University of Texas they are not be held liable or responsible for any legal or illegal proceedings that go on in the building because technically UT still is under contract with them and is leasing the building for the rest of the year.

The Meth lab was discovered in plain view next to the coffee shop and book store and the FBI and DEA are going to be questioning thousands of students and faculty that did not reported it earlier this year.  The anonymous tip received earlier this week also offered names and details of the two ut professors and students that are in charge of the lab.

BPD informed to the Brownsville Monitor that the suspects are under surveillance and that as soon as they can gather evidence they will let the public know about the utbr meth operation.  UT representatives were scheduled to arrive to this town in the next few days to reach an agreement with the DEA and clarify that the actual chemistry lab was part of a school project and not a "meth" lab that was supplying with the residents of this area with narcotics. They will testify and try and offer evidence that the lab indeed is conducting research and trying to duplicate a successful meth derived antidote that will help crack and meth addicts in the area to successfully kick the habit and be able to rehab successfully.

The student union and adjacent coffee shop and book store were immediately closed to the public and students and DEA and FBI officials and cleanup crews went to work trying to decontaminate the whole area and adjacent neighborhoods for fear of contamination from the polymath acetone that might have been leaking into the atmosphere in the past few months.  Students and Faculty are welcomed to pass by the UTBR student union  express medical labs tents to test for any exposure to meth and inquire more information about the risks and health benefits of exposure to meth.  The Student government club is hosting a fundraiser on the risks of this meth lab exposure Halloween night from 5:30 till 6:30 in the old Gorgas Hall.

October 27, 2012

Magic climbing choo train will distort your brain

The magic climbing train motors past the pain. Nothing can stop it not fire nor rain. Jump on board and you will be glad you came. Steaming past dreams in the drain. Passing the norm and chugging towards the insane. Your room is full of smoke so crack open a window. Distorted views like trees bent towards the north. Distorted views like hungry body's litter the ghetto. Whatever you do don't leave the train. Never plant your feet into the ground again. Never leave this train because to do so so would mean again to feel pain. It's a short line that never ends. Round the hill and back again.

October 25, 2012

Pharr Events Center Confirms "Morrisey is a no show"

Pharr Events Center has confirmed that famed singer and indie rock legend Morrisey has not been confirmed to play in the sold out event scheduled for next month.  All of this comes to a surprise due to the recent cancellation of hard rock band "Hellyeah" that stated in their Facebook page that they were never approached by the management of the Events Center or the Radio Promoters that for a month sold the idea to the Rio Grande Valley public that The Cult and Hellyeah were scheduled to play October 23rd.  Hellyeah management sadly informed their Texans fans that no such concert was ever scheduled in their Texan tour while their were playing in Waco last night. "We regret to inform our fans in the Lower Rio Grande Valley that the radio dj's and promoters and management of Pharr Event Center never signed or confirmed a contract with us, and its a shame that they are misleading loyal fans into buying tickets when the concert was never confirmed by us".

Pharr Events Center has been under scrutiny for the past few months since showcasing famous singer Morrisey in their November line of concerts.  Thousands of loyal Morrisey fans have already purchased their VIP packages and regular attendees tickets for the past few months. Morrisey management was contacted this week when news about the sham scheduling with hellyeah and the cult were known to the public and they yield sad news: MORRISEY is going to be performing in El Paso, not pharr and him and his management are baffled that the concert is scheduled when they have not signed any agreement to play that venue or given the go ahead for local radio hosts and promoters to inform lies to the faithful public that are still in the dark as to why the concert was scheduled in the first place.

Pharr's own Chamber of Commerce representative, Eddie Longoria, has stated to Channel Four News that he will investigate the management that has been dealing with these "so called" promotions and fake concerts and that he is willing to secure full reimbursement for all the ticket holders if they are interested in getting their money back.

For more information on how to get your refund and to submit a complaint about these fraudalent concerts you can contact your local FTC center and you can submit an online complaint at www.pharreventscenter.org.

October 22, 2012

Hostile UFO sightings over Latino Jazz Showcase in Brownsville, Texas.

Multiple eyewitness accounts of strange objects in the sky attracted the attention of the media over the weekend in the town of Brownsville, Texas.  Concerned residents of the West and East Side of town near Fronton Street, were amazed by the pyrotechnics and maneuvers some of these aircraft's displayed in the clear night sky.  911 operators could not keep up with the pouring incoming calls of concerned citizens fearing an attack from the organized crime that populates the neighbor cities of Matamoros and Reynosa, since recent attacks to the valley borders and bridges have yielded strange artifacts that the Mob used to denote explosives near the International and Veterans Highway Bridge.

The sightings began around 10:30 pm near the downtown area just when locals were preparing themselves to participate in the elusive Latino Jazz Festival, several bright orbs circulating among the 60 people that dared to show their faces in such crappy display of congas and mariachi, and proceeded to scan their organs, access their SNAP and TANF benefits status and if they considered ever attending to a regular college or if they were just sucking the teat of the Government   Of the only 60 attendees only five were actually taking courses in the local UT College or TSCTC new campus.  The orbs were in the shape of long elongated discs and they projected harmful rays of red light that partially disintegrated part of the stage thus ending the night of bore and Tito Puente.  On Sunday terrified Pastor of The West Side Baptist church called his fellow parishioners to pray and make contact with the UFO when he received a disturbing message via BlackBerry text that said: "they are watching you" he proceeded to hold a charity event all night and he states that he was able to photograph and blue like object hovering over the new parking lot, number 4 to be exact, taking pictures and harassing his flock.  Most of the parishioners ran to their cars in fear of being transported to a highge realm, and most of the 911 calls are now available to the public for review if it was a long weekend hoax or if indeed we are being targeted by unknown heavenly entities that want to learn more about our economy, way of life and if we are going to be able to elect a non-crooked BISD board that will benefit the small human children.

October 21, 2012

New exclusive sneak photos of the new iPad maxi!

It looks like Apple has done it again. Burying all the false gods underseas of disease and plague. The new camera boasts 1 million megapixels plus apples own patented ugly filter. Pictures never looked better! The weight on the new Ipad Maxi is a little bit more than most people are you soon so you may want to go ahead and pick up apples own "prophet" accessory.

October 20, 2012

serial killer jeffery cutlip from oregon playing guitar and singing

Downtown Eddie Was My Friend

downtown eddie he stole my gun went downtown to have some fun
he thought it funny to make folks run he shot he people one by one
poor little eddie had never cried he had no feelings as people died
downtown eddie he was my friend but he shot and killed me that's it "the end"

How to build a small wooden structure in a few easy days.

 First plan and prepare your area. Try to look for a flat area with few trees and shrubs that what will require removal perhaps next to trees or bushes would be a good idea if you wish to use their foliage for shade. Then start to prepare your first supply list. What type of foundation will you use? Concrete or wood? Either way let's get going! Get into your truck and head towards Home Depot. Make sure and get a cart from the parking lot as many times there are not carts inside the store. Fill up your cart with as many supplies as you can while keeping in mind your budget goals. Return to the job site with the supplies. Unload the supplies and after a small break start hammering supplies together. Continue until either the sunset or you become tired. In the morning wake up and drink some coffee. Hopefully you have completed the foundation phase by now. Return to Home Depot with your list of supplies needed for the framework of your small wooden structure. Once again fill up your truck with supplies while keeping in mind any budget restraints. Return to the job site and once again begin assembling supplies. Hopefully you have at least one helper today. There are many designs for small wooden structures. Use your imagination! Continue work on the frame of the small wooden structure throughout the day while using your helper as a gopher to retrieve things that you may have forgotten to buy from Home Depot. Wow what a day! With your frame completed your small wooden structure is finally starting to come together. How does it look? Well it's too late to worry about that now. It's the last phase outdoor sheathing and of course the roof. Small wooden structures come in many shapes and sizes. So whether you're just looking to get out of the house or you need a place to store your expensive lawn equipment enjoy your small wooden structure!

Brownsville Sheriff: Old Cementerio Antiguo Voted Worst Place in the County to Purchase Drugs.

Sheriff Lucio has been working hard in showing Mexican and Argentinian Nationals that are interested in investing in the Valley that Cameron County is a drug free zone and it will cater to their business and jobs needs in any way possible.  The Mayor of Brownsville has been catering with Colombian and Mexican Nationals to invest their money to create new jobs venues for the Valley while offering the best route possible for out of the area investors to locate and buy the cheapest industrial land in the county to start new businesses, arts centers and new jobs for the expected 230 Colombian, Argentinian and Mexican entrepreneurs that are expected to arrive to the Valley next year.  Cameron County officials have stated that Old Cementerio Antiguo is going to be closed to the public and voted it "The Worst Location to Purchase Narcotics" in the lower Rio Grande Valley.  Second on the list as worst location possible to administer or buy drugs was the Darcy Building and The New Student Union Area that has just gone through extensive remodeling via TSCTS.  

The Mayor of Brownsville and our own Sheriff Lucio want to shut down any illegal activity that may surface in the area of Old Cementerio Antiguo and the Brownsville's own Historical Association is going to be cancelling cleanups and spirits offerings and tastings in order to clean up the downtown area from junkies and established a new and cleaner way to deal and administer the narcotics to cater the new residents of the Valley that promise to help the community with the opening of new jobs and a new way of Brownsville Living.

October 18, 2012

Southmost PD encouraging Cameron County residents to turn in Guns inexchange for Past Due Warrants.

South most PD is hosting an event encouraging Cameron and Willacy residents that have outstanding warrants to voluntarily surrender any firearms in their possession November 23rd before Judge Neexce to be exonerated of past due warrants and be able to post a recognized bail with a minimum required probation. In order to qualify for a 25 dollar gift certificate courtesy of Ryan Wolf's he'll kitchen and to win a unique charro days sombrero, Southmost PD is asking for the public to donate their fire weapons and be able to produce prof of address, or recent snap or wic eligibility
Cards and submit the appropriate applications on or before the 23 rd of next month at their current location in Southmost avenue or you can visit their website: www.suckmygunsputhmost.com.

October 16, 2012

Cameron County to Promote "Vote Sober 2012" campaign against drunk voting.

Cameron County officials are going to be sponsoring a weekend long affair to promote "Vote Sober 2012!" for the next coming elections in the month of November.  Cameron County Mayor and Sheriff Lopez-Doriga are going to be offering a series of workshops for new and old voters that are interested in the coming elections and want to be able to fulfill their voting duties without the impairment of alcohol or illegal narcotics in their system.  Julieta Garza has offered the new student union at prestigious University of Texas in Brownsville as a meeting site for any voter interested in attending the festivities and eventual counseling that will offer food and drinks for the attendants, live music, special performances by Brownsville Cheezmehh mastermind Senorito Castro, that with his expertise in religion, counseling against addictions and theology teachings, is going to try and help out local voters into attending the voting stations this coming November stone cold sober so that they can under oath be able to give out and cast a sincere and honest vote.

The cost of the event will be of five dollars and with every ticket, Mr. Cheezmeh is going to be offering free lunch plates, pamphlets and for the fisrt 200 attendees a free t-shirt.  The event is going to offer a major concert in the new student union that will feature Bieber's Impersonators Jason Bebe and local bands Los Cadetes de Linares y Little Joe y la familia.  Wines and spirits are going to be offered via a generous donation from Feldman's liquors stores for the first 200 attendees to the event so voters are encouraged to arrive early and purchase your tickets from George villa-real aka Latin Jazz King at his office located in East Madison Street Suite C.

October 15, 2012

Parra furniture targets Anglos!

Parra furniture in trouble for selling damaged goods and offering mischievous contracts to their clients in Spanish knowing that some clients have a limited knowledge of the spelling and meaning of Spanish words in the contracts.

Parra furniture is under public scrutiny after numerous complaints from unsatisfied buyers surfaced through the social web last Saturday.  Multiple ex clients of the store have called the store and demanded for the delivery drivers to come to their houses and pick up the damaged or defective merchandise from their addresses. The main compliant is that parra charges interest rate over the good to good hard working people that do not have a stable credit history making them believe they are purchasing good valuables when in fact, the merchandise is second hand.

No word yet from the paras furniture store management as to why let anglos in this video signed paper work that is clearly not written in their native tongue.

October 1, 2012

Justin Bieber Rushed to SoberWay Home Rehab on Prescott Arizona after vomiting in Stage.

Sources close to Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have confirmed that Bieber was rushed to famous rehab center "SoberWay" in Prescott, Arizona after yesterdays melt down during the Believe Tour.  Justin stated to fans via twitter and his Rep that he had in fact felt sick to his stomach and vomited twice on stage because he had drank milk earlier that day and that nerves and exhaustion were responsible for the meltdown.  Bieber apologized to his fans and entourage that acted as if nothing had happened.  Sources close to Bieber state that after the concert, singer Selena Gomez and Bieber's mother and friends and family urged him to get help to kick off his raging heroine habit after witnessing the singer drop weight in the last few months and being ill and unresponsive before and after the show.

SoberWay Manager Patty Smith neither confirmed or denied Biebers admittance to the facility but stated to the New York Post that Bieber does show dependency to black tar or heroine.  SoberWay has helped celebrities in the past, including Lindsay Lohan and Chris Brown.  Bieber is scheduled to perform at Staples this week, and is hoping that a quick and fast detox will help him fulfill his Believe tour so that he will be able to fulfill the whole six months of detox and theraphy offered at Sober Way.  No word yet if Usher is going to be his sponsor and shoulder to lean on during this difficult time for the singer, as we all remembered Bieber has been battling depression due to his mothers New York Best Seller book where she states she was a child abuse survivor and stripper when Bieber was a new born.