December 29, 2012
Watchtower Society and Apple team up to mass produce new Tablet.
The watchtower society and Apple have teamed up to create and produce an inexpensive tablet that will feature every single piece of literature and publication dating back from the year 1985. The tablet that will cost $99 to any certified elder and members of the church will be available January 2013 and will also feature special apps that will showcase famous short films used by the cult to entice young and nubile and old minds into their ranks and churches. Apple has made it easy for the Watchtower society to control and manipulate it members with an extraordinary tablet that is secretly coded and engineered to showcase only "Jehovah" friendly publications and music and media that the Church deems appropriate for its thousands of followers through the state.
The Watchtower society is encouraging its members to keep the tablets with them at all times just as their bibles and journals of study and to take advantage of the app "Talkatone" and "Messages" that will keep them in contact wherever wi-fi or internet is available. Members of the Watchtower society express their eternal gratitude to the Apple Company that has facilitated them with a tablet that will offer all the conveniences of the Ipod and Ipad but that will be exclusively used for the benefit of the Jehovah Church and elders and that will help the Jehovah Church to cut down on the mass production of literature and magazines that are widely known to always clogged the gutters of any loyal neighborhood or used as fly swappers in every house in the Rio Grande region. Jehovah Witnesses around the world are expected to purchase the new tablet when it comes out for sale and are encouraged to learn how to use it effectively because is expected to replace every book, journal and pamphlet ever used when recruiting new meat, church gatherings and bible studies that are well known in the Church and used around the Country.