Rapper Lil Wayne on Life Support after suffering Major Seizures

Rapper Lil Wayne has been placed on life support this evening. The rapper was shooting a cameo for a new video featuring Rihanna when he succumbed to two major seizures that rendered him unconscious and provoked a cracked jaw when he fell from a sports car he was driving during the shooting of the video. Lil Wayne mother and manager released a statement that after trying unsuccessfully to revive they had decided to place him in life support while the figure out if he shows any brain activity or if his organs could be place with several individuals that are in dire need of surgery to replace vital organs. Lil Wayne had suffered several episodes earlier this year when he fainted during a concert in the Malvinas Islands but he added jokingly that his doctor had prescribed medication and to drink up to four gallons a water a daily. Lil Wayne also noted earlier this year that he has not stopped smoking marijuana and that the allegations that marijuana use actually provoked the seizures was a stupid idea without no fundament.

SPI Springbreakers report UFO sightings near LOUIES backyard

Frantic phone calls from spring breakers concerned over bright lights that were hovering near the dance floor in South Padre Island famous LOUIE'S backyard were reported this past weekend. Brownsville PD and Port Isabel PD were summoned by the owners and staff of the famous bar due to a stampede of college students in the famous bar restaurant. Staff and owners of the bar could not calm and control the thousands of college students that were attending a rave night and freaked out when they noticed several UFOs flying above them flashing beams of bright lights into their faces and bodies. Scared and disoriented spring breakers tried to leave the dance floor in a hurry prompting a stampede that injured several dozens waiters and people that were dancing in the dance floor. 911 operators had to contact the Cameron County Fire Department and Brownsville Pd for assistance in the human stampede and to render medical aid to the hundreds of injured men and women that laid out on the street screaming in pain and scared of the aliens that had terrorize them in the dance floor. Brownsville PD released a statement this Tuesday morning stating that a bad batch of Ecstasy was distributed among the patrons of the famous bar and that in fact it was the reaction of the X and alcohol that made the staff and sprinbreakers believe that UFOs were going to kidnap them when in fact the lights and UFO's were the dj's sound and lights system that send the attendants into a nervous chaos that injured several hundred people when they were trying to flee the aliens that were not..

Crack Head Community in Brownsville, Texas upset with Charros Day Festivities.

                                          CRACKHEAD PARANOIA WHEN THEY ARE HIGH.


The crack head community that mostly populates the downtown area and the west of Brownsville are going to be meeting with City Commissioner Tony Martinez to discuss the repercussion to their habits that every year the Charros Day Parade and the attendees to the parade do to their houses, and their business.

Bee Quintana known for her hot messes on Facebook and on national TV has stated that she would be interested in representing the group of 145 crack and meth addicts that are going to meet with the Popular Mr. Martinez behind Sams Studio around  midnight to discuss new locations for the parade and festivities that will not interfere with their distributing and selling of crack cocaine and meth.  Bee Quintana and Judge Nietzsche have expressed in the valley monitor newspaper that they were interested in representing the group and talking to the mayor.




Susana "Loca" Chavez, explained to the Valley Monitor that every year thousand of fans and people dress in native Mexican folklore stomp on their grounds, park in their alleys, get drunk and high legally at Sombrero Fest, the Carnival and Downtown and with all the security hired to protect the Mayor, his wife and Mr. Amigo, they dont feel comfortable buying the drugs or just enjoying their highs near the alleys.

The meeting will also show the interesting lifestyles of druggies in Cameron County they are going to be showcasing canvases painted with feces and urine that were sprawled in heavy nights of getting high and giving blow jobs to affluent senile bloggers that cant get it up anymore. Abkill profits from the show and the meeting will go to Museo Casa del Nino of this town.